It was supposed to have been a very different summer for Harry McKirdy. His debut campaign in Scotland with Hibs had just finished - 23 appearances in all competitions but no goals or assists, only a handful of starts, and a couple of unsavoury incidents on social media - but there was Europe on the horizon, and the chance for a proper pre-season and the opportunity to hit the ground running for season two.
But things in football can change very quickly and even without the bombshell of a heart issue uncovered during routine pre-season testing that would keep him sidelined until 2024 and thrust his career into uncertainty, he might not be sitting here at the Hibernian Training Centre.
“I spent the start of summer looking at where I might want to go to play football, because I wanted to go out on loan and the club wanted a permanent," he says, casting his mind back to six months ago when things were still relatively normal. "It seemed like the whole focus of my life was trying to find the right place to play football and all of a sudden something like that happens. It all happened so fast that there wasn’t really time to process it."
You might remember the media reports linking him with a return to England, or the Swindon fans begging him to come back to the County Ground. All of a sudden, 'where am I going to play football' was replaced by 'will I even be able to play football again?'
“Very quickly, I went from wondering where I was going to go to play football, to this," he continues. "It wasn’t ideal, obviously, but I had good people around me and they got me through it. It was tough but I feel alright now. It could have been worse."
He is relaxed as he talks through it all: the diagnosis, the three months of being unable to do anything, being left zonked after a short walk, and then slowly, gradually, starting his rehab. A target for opposition fans on the pitch and not beyond a few choice words aimed at a referee or linesman, McKirdy is a very different prospect in a one-to-one scenario. Quieter, more reserved, thoughtful, and contemplative without being withdrawn, and in regulation purple club training gear rather than his colourful civvies, he could be any of the first-team players here. While he is feeling good, he isn't taking anything for granted.
“You never really know if that’s everything sorted, do you? But I am feeling good. It has been a lot tougher than I thought to get back fit but when you have a serious operation it changes things. I feel I’m in a good place now - still unfit, but getting there and enjoying playing football."
He joined the team in Dubai for the winter training camp under the watchful eye of new manager Nick Montgomery, whom he says has been 'really good' since taking the reins in September.
“It’s one of those things that you end up taking for granted a bit. It’s just nice to be back amongst it again. I think I did more in Dubai than I expected; I did most of the sessions, got 45 minutes [against Servette in the friendly] and I just feel like I’m getting a bit closer," he says.
The new coaching staff arrived while several players were in the middle of long-term lay-offs; including McKirdy. But some of his injured colleagues were further on in their rehab whereas he was limited in what he could do. Was that an added concern to go along with the usual uncertainty when a new boss shows up?
"It wasn't ideal when the new manager came in. Normally it’s a clean slate for anyone with a new gaffer but I was in once or twice a week and I’d do, maybe, a ten-minute jog, then have to have two or three days off at home so not ideal circumstances for a new manager coming in! But he’s been really good with me and has let me take it on my schedule, and when my body has allowed me to do things.
“The toughest thing when you’re injured is the graft, but when you can’t even do that… Cadds [Chris Cadden] has had a long injury; you’d see him in here all day every day and he’d be doing six or seven sessions and I was coming in, walking on the treadmill a bit, and then I’d be done. During the first three months, not being able to do anything was the toughest bit.
"I’ve had a few three or four-month injuries but normally you graft, you have a bit of time when you can’t work on a certain area depending on the injury but you can still do stuff around it and normally come back alright. This was different because I couldn’t really do anything. It was a month in hospital and then another three or four weeks just sat at home and even a little walk would take it out of me, I just wasn’t able to do anything."
He pauses.
"I felt a bit broken not being able to do something I’ve done for so long."
When pictures emerged showing him participating in training towards the end of October, there was excitement from supporters keen to see how McKirdy might fare working under a coach lauded for his man-management skills and in a system that might just get the best out of him. When he was named in the matchday squad against Motherwell for the final game before the winter break it was a welcome, if slightly unexpected, return - but he ended up coming on for the final ten minutes. How did that feel?
“I was buzzing to be involved. It came out of nowhere, to be honest; I hadn’t really trained much. I’d trained about two months before, for a week, and it was just too soon. It probably set me back another month. I just didn’t feel ready. Then after the Hearts game [on December 27], I came in the next day and something turned in my head. I felt like I wasn’t as far away as it seemed. I was never going to be able to play longer than I did but it was just nice to be back out there."
The last time he played was at Tynecastle; when Hearts pipped Hibs to fourth place courtesy of a final-day 1-1 draw in which the ten-man hosts repelled their rivals who chucked everything at them in the second half. A half-time replacement for Jimmy Jeggo as Lee Johnson went for broke, his final act was shooting narrowly over late on. The post-match rammy that ensued, sparked by a confrontation between Steven Naismith and Lee Johnson is all that most people remember from the showdown.
How does he feel last season panned out?
“Last season… [laughs]. I don’t know. I came in, I was flying, I felt like I could have gone anywhere and scored goals. I was just in that mindset. I’d been doing it consistently since Christmas; I don’t think I went two games without scoring. Whoever we [Swindon Town] played against, I felt like I’d turn up [and score]. And then I came here and it was just a bit strange," he says.
“Hibs came in for me and knew exactly how I was. I didn’t come here and change - actually, if anything I did change and went the other way and reined it in a little bit. The way I was, the way I was feeling and living my life, I think I could have gone anywhere and not played and it would have gone down the same way."
McKirdy was desperate to come to Hibs and make an impact. He had scored for fun at Swindon, catching the eye of several clubs including Birmingham City, who failed in an eleventh-hour bid to tempt him to St Andrews while negotiations were ongoing with Hibs. He admits that he didn't do enough when he was on the park, but insists a greater run of games could have been hugely beneficial for both player and club.
“I just wanted to play games and get a chance, and I don’t think I ever got that. I came in as a marquee signing and there was a lot of buzz. I’ve never seen a player go anywhere, and have that buzz around their signing, and just never get given a run of games," he states.
“I never played back-to-back games. It took me three months to get my first start, then it was another three months until the next one. And I was always thrown in at the last minute, like away to Celtic and then the derby at Tynecastle in January, when I got dragged at half-time. My first two starts in six months, and I got dragged at half-time. Both times.
“I really wanted to come to Hibs and do well, but it got to the stage where if I wasn’t going to play, I wasn’t going to stay here forever. I think something was done in the summer and Hibs accepted a bid; I didn’t really want to go but things in football change so quickly and things happen so fast."
He doesn't feel he was played out of position either, as some Hibs fans seemed to think, pointing out that he played across the front three during his time at Swindon but the crucial element was simply playing more than he managed in his first season at Easter Road. He didn't complete a full 90 minutes in any of his 20-plus matches.
"I think the last gaffer could have played me anywhere and it wouldn’t have mattered. I just needed a run of games and it just never happened. I’d played across the front three at Swindon; I played left, right, up front and it didn’t seem to matter, I just seemed to score goals. But when you’re on a run and you’re playing and you’re scoring goals, I don’t think it really matters where you play. It was a different formation; we played a 433 at Swindon but it was more of a 451 and if I was playing on the wing I was playing as a wide forward, so still up front, just starting a bit wider.
"Here, it felt more like I was playing as a wingback for 45 minutes, then it was, ‘see you again in three months’.
“I’m not deluded. I understand that I did get minutes, and when I came on, I didn’t do great. There were a couple of games where I ran about but it never really clicked. I’m 26 now and everywhere I’ve ever been, if I’ve only played a little part in the team it’s just never really worked. When I’ve done well it’s been because I’ve cemented a place in the team.
“I didn’t expect to come in as main man and they change the way they play around me; I just expected a fair run in the team and you get five or six games and if you don’t do it, then you can look at yourself and you can blame yourself. But it’s hard to sit here and completely blame myself when I didn’t get that run of games."
McKirdy is still working his way back to full fitness but is hopeful of increasing his minutes on the pitch. There is no set plan, or schedule for a staggered comeback; he will simply play as and when needed and continue to build up his strength and match fitness.
“You can’t expect anything in first-team football. Circumstances dictate what happens. I think against Motherwell and Forfar I got minutes because there wasn’t really anybody else, was there?"
He remains confident of being able to show Hibs fans why the club was so keen to bring him to Edinburgh in the first place. He feels Montgomery’s approach will be a better fit for him.
“The manager has been brilliant. I think the way he plays will suit me - I can play anywhere across the front four so I just need to get my fitness up, and get into a good state of mind and hopefully, I can get back to scoring goals and enjoying myself on the football pitch again.”
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